View Full Version : Help a brother out
I need to get massive(er), 5'8, 75-6kg, 15%. What sort of volume and breakdown of shit do I need to eat? I know literally **** all about this shit, any help appreciated.
LWStrong
09-11-2011, 21:39
Olive oil and milk. Loads of both. Get fat strong.
Milk by itself not an option for me, shit ****s me right up.
LWStrong
09-11-2011, 21:41
Gomad evoo.
Cals at 16-18 per lb bodyweight, protein at a minimum 1g per lb, carbs and fats = depends on personal pref.
Also, in my experience cycle carbs. I've never struggled to put on weight mind (quite the opposite) so being the lean hero you are you might get away without.
So less carbs non training days?
Ya, no less than 100g to stop going near ketosis, basically don't count green veg. Protein same on either day. Found cycling cals leads to less fat gain from my experience, up to you though dood, you may be a calorie vortex like Paulie and JJ.
To elaborate slightly, I'm not disposed to being especially lean or big, my body seems to like to chill at about 14-17% regardless of weight and takes doing some retarded shit to get much above that. It also doesn't particularly relish putting size on, in the past I've adopted the eat everything possible approach with fair success. I think my current plan, as you've alluded too, should be carbs up on training days (keep the sources decent ie oats, yoghurt, wholemeal grains) and then try to avoid the grains etc on non-training days.
It's currently what I'm doing. Startches etc only on training days, majority PWO. Seems to be working pretty well but I do have drugs.
I essentially just want a license to eat bagels, like the Jew(itt).
LWStrong
09-11-2011, 22:37
Just go mental on subway again. I miss those days....
Life was good. My shit is getting close and closer to squatting again, I intend to return to them.
JonnyJames
10-11-2011, 06:37
What worked very well for me to go from 82 to 92 earlier in the year without getting any fatter (bearing in mind the drugs) was cycling both carbs and calories. Base of 15kcal/lb BW and 1.5g P/lb BW, P+C at breakfast, P+F for the rest, but +20% calories on training days, mainly in the shape of pre- and post- training shakes and a big meal a couple of hours later. If fat gain is a real concern you can even do +20% on training days and -10% on non-. Assess weight every 2 weeks and if not satisfied add 200 to the base calories.
Go to Vegas and hit the buffets! Pretty much an instant 10kg BW for me :-) 95% of which was fat :-(
There was a time at the Old Westside gym where I couldn’t gain weight to save my ****ing life.
There was this dude who trained there who could just put on weight like ****ing magic. He’d go from 198 to 308 and then to 275 and back down to 198. And he was never fat. It was amazing.
I finally asked him one day how he did it.
“You mean I never told you the secret to gaining weight? Come outside and I’ll fill you in.”
Now remember, we’re at Westside Barbell. And this guy wants to go outside to talk so no one else can hear. Think about that for a minute. What the hell is he going to tell me? This must be some serious shit if we have to go outside, I thought.
So we get outside and he starts talking.
“For breakfast you need to eat four of those breakfast sandwiches from McDonalds. I don’t care which ones you get, but make sure to get four. Order four hash browns, too. Now grab two packs of mayonnaise and put them on the hash browns and then slip them into the sandwiches. Squish that shit down and eat. That’s your breakfast.”
At this point I’m thinking this guy is nuts. But he’s completely serious.
“For lunch you’re gonna eat Chinese food. Now I don’t want you eating that crappy stuff. You wanna get the stuff with MSG. None of that non-MSG bullshit. I don’t care what you eat but you have to sit down and eat for at least 45 minutes straight. You can’t let go of the fork. Eat until your eyes swell up and become slits and you start to look like the woman behind the counter.”
“For dinner you’re gonna order an extra-large pizza with everything on it. Literally everything. If you don’t like sardines, don’t put ’em on, but anything else that you like you have to load it on there. After you pay the delivery guy, I want you to take the pie to your coffee table, open that ****er up, and grab a bottle of oil. It can be olive oil, canola oil, whatever. Anything but motor oil. And I want you to pour that shit over the pie until half of the bottle is gone. Just soak the shit out of it.”
“Now before you lay into it, I want you to sit on your couch and just stare at that ****er. I want you to understand that that pizza right there is keeping you from your goals.”
This guy is in a zen-like state when he’s talking about this.
“Now you’re on the clock,” he continues. “After 20 minutes your brain is going to tell you you’re full. Don’t listen to that shit. You have to try and eat as much of the pizza as you can before that 20-minute mark. Double up pieces if you have to. I’m telling you now, you’re going to get three or four pieces in and you’re gonna want to quit. You ****ing can’t quit. You have to sit on that couch until every piece is done.
And if you can’t finish it, don’t you ever come back to me and tell me you can’t gain weight. ’Cause I’m gonna tell you that you don’t give a **** about getting bigger and you don’t care how much you lift!”
Did I do it? Hell yeah. Started the next day and did it for two months. Went from 260 pounds to 297 pounds. And I didn’t get much fatter. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life, though..
plateau2
10-11-2011, 07:53
I need to get massive(er), 5'8, 75-6kg, 15%. What sort of volume and breakdown of shit do I need to eat? I know literally **** all about this shit, any help appreciated.
What the hell do you weigh now?
LWStrong
10-11-2011, 08:02
He weighs that now. 75-76kg
JonnyJames
10-11-2011, 08:03
What the hell do you weigh now?
No, that *is* what he weighs now.
plateau2
10-11-2011, 08:06
No, that *is* what he weighs now.
Ahh. Sleep limited last night. Waiting for coffee.
plateau2
10-11-2011, 08:08
How much do you eat now?
At a starting point, add 50g protein powder, 1 banana and 2tsb nut butter - should be about an extra 500 calories right there. Do it whether training or not I would say.
I eat a pretty fair amount to be honest. Yesterday was fairly representative of average and was:
AM - porridge, rasberrys, protein shake, green tea
AMish - protein shake + walnut oil
Lunch - 4 bits bacon, 2 burgers, salad, green tea
PM - 2 chicken breasts, 4 wholemeal wraps, spinach, avacado, greek youghurt, blackberries, protein shake
LWStrong
10-11-2011, 09:34
You have more than one shake a day?
Dim says.....
You're gonna die.
LWStrong
10-11-2011, 09:52
Dim can suck me off
:eek:
JonnyJames
10-11-2011, 09:52
Who is this Dim character to whom you all keep referring?
Who is this Dim character to whom you all keep referring?
See the banter in Paul's journal of late.
plateau2
10-11-2011, 10:01
I eat a pretty fair amount to be honest. Yesterday was fairly representative of average and was:
AM - porridge, rasberrys, protein shake, green tea
AMish - protein shake + walnut oil
Lunch - 4 bits bacon, 2 burgers, salad, green tea
PM - 2 chicken breasts, 4 wholemeal wraps, spinach, avacado, greek youghurt, blackberries, protein shake
Yes not a sparrow by any means. Maybe plug numbers in fit day?
I see a few options...
1. See food and eat it, ultimately likely to lend itself to making unhealthy choices. Which doesn't look to be your thing.
2. Add to second meal, it's a small meal unless you're drinking a lot of oil
3. Add meal replacement shakes after meal 3. Drinking is easier than chewing when full.
4. Add honey/peanut butter to the porridge
5. Add cheese to burger in meal 4
6. Powdered carbs to meal 2, ground oats/barley
Any thoughts?
There was a time at the Old Westside gym where I couldn’t gain weight to save my ****ing life.
There was this dude who trained there who could just put on weight like ****ing magic. He’d go from 198 to 308 and then to 275 and back down to 198. And he was never fat. It was amazing.
I finally asked him one day how he did it.
“You mean I never told you the secret to gaining weight? Come outside and I’ll fill you in.”
Now remember, we’re at Westside Barbell. And this guy wants to go outside to talk so no one else can hear. Think about that for a minute. What the hell is he going to tell me? This must be some serious shit if we have to go outside, I thought.
So we get outside and he starts talking.
“For breakfast you need to eat four of those breakfast sandwiches from McDonalds. I don’t care which ones you get, but make sure to get four. Order four hash browns, too. Now grab two packs of mayonnaise and put them on the hash browns and then slip them into the sandwiches. Squish that shit down and eat. That’s your breakfast.”
At this point I’m thinking this guy is nuts. But he’s completely serious.
“For lunch you’re gonna eat Chinese food. Now I don’t want you eating that crappy stuff. You wanna get the stuff with MSG. None of that non-MSG bullshit. I don’t care what you eat but you have to sit down and eat for at least 45 minutes straight. You can’t let go of the fork. Eat until your eyes swell up and become slits and you start to look like the woman behind the counter.”
“For dinner you’re gonna order an extra-large pizza with everything on it. Literally everything. If you don’t like sardines, don’t put ’em on, but anything else that you like you have to load it on there. After you pay the delivery guy, I want you to take the pie to your coffee table, open that ****er up, and grab a bottle of oil. It can be olive oil, canola oil, whatever. Anything but motor oil. And I want you to pour that shit over the pie until half of the bottle is gone. Just soak the shit out of it.”
“Now before you lay into it, I want you to sit on your couch and just stare at that ****er. I want you to understand that that pizza right there is keeping you from your goals.”
This guy is in a zen-like state when he’s talking about this.
“Now you’re on the clock,” he continues. “After 20 minutes your brain is going to tell you you’re full. Don’t listen to that shit. You have to try and eat as much of the pizza as you can before that 20-minute mark. Double up pieces if you have to. I’m telling you now, you’re going to get three or four pieces in and you’re gonna want to quit. You ****ing can’t quit. You have to sit on that couch until every piece is done.
And if you can’t finish it, don’t you ever come back to me and tell me you can’t gain weight. ’Cause I’m gonna tell you that you don’t give a **** about getting bigger and you don’t care how much you lift!”
Did I do it? Hell yeah. Started the next day and did it for two months. Went from 260 pounds to 297 pounds. And I didn’t get much fatter. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life, though.
This might work if you have drugs, otherwise you're just gonna end up fat.
JonnyJames
10-11-2011, 10:08
This might work if you have drugs, otherwise you're just gonna end up fat.
As I found to be the case March/April/May last year. Tempted to give it a try October/November/December next year though, as I should be between OU modules at that point.
plateau2
10-11-2011, 10:08
This might work if you have drugs, otherwise you're just gonna end up fat.
Plus the use of much, how much is much.
But a good story anyway
take it with a pinch of salt
LWStrong
10-11-2011, 10:10
Plus the use of much, how much is much.
But a good story anyway
take it with a pinch of salt
He probably took it with a load of salt. Sodium BLOAT bro!
Sodium and Dbol for top effect.
LWStrong
10-11-2011, 10:14
Sodium and Dbol for top effect.
Hopefully.
Wait, what... :ph34r:
JonnyJames
10-11-2011, 10:15
Not anavar then? :euro:
LWStrong
10-11-2011, 10:17
Not anavar then? :euro:
Just eccles cakes, stella and *insert other 'northern' food/drink items here* for now mate.
Just eccles cakes, stella and *insert other 'northern' food/drink items here* for now mate.
black pudding
suet
scouse
add meal 5 - 500mg test, problem solved. The IC way.
JonnyJames
10-11-2011, 10:19
How is black pudding 'northern?' Surely it's universal?!
JonnyJames
10-11-2011, 10:20
add meal 5 - 500mg test, problem solved. The IC way.
Eccles cake + test = swole.
add meal 5 - 500mg test, problem solved. The IC way.
You know it makes sense.
I eat a pretty fair amount to be honest. Yesterday was fairly representative of average and was:
AM - porridge, rasberrys, protein shake, green tea
AMish - protein shake + walnut oil
Lunch - 4 bits bacon, 2 burgers, salad, green tea
PM - 2 chicken breasts, 4 wholemeal wraps, spinach, avacado, greek youghurt, blackberries, protein shake
That's not much at all tbh, mate. Add in a couple more meals or just make the ones you have bigger imo. Meals 3 and 4 need carbs, and add some solid protein to meal 1 and 2.
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