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View Full Version : Acts of Swoleness.


JonnyJames
28-09-2009, 11:13
I'm starting this thread so we (mostly you, I'll admit) can document the moments in which we get a chance to flex our mighty muscles outside the gym.

My mum has a history of... occasional flakiness. I think it might be a Scottish thing because it seems to run through all the women in my family, both immediate and wider, and is reported by friends of mine whose mums are also from that part of the world.

This time, she asked me round to demolish my parent's very sturdy solid pine garden shed. I didn't ask at the time what tools she had (probably becuase I had an inkling what the answer would be) and when I got there I found she had... a tack hammer and a phillips screw driver.

After a few choice words I set to work with nothing more than my own hard-won strength and heft.

I kicked out the wallboards on 2 sides from inside the shed, then went back outside and kicked out the supports. I then grabbed the roof at one corner, and pulled the mother****er to the ground.

At that point I stood on the rubble, took my t shirt off and howled like a Viking.

Raaaaarrrr.

plateau2
28-09-2009, 14:56
Does splitting about 4 pairs of trousers, 1 pair tracky bottoms and 2 shorts this year count?

JonnyJames
28-09-2009, 15:19
Absolutely!

PikeKing
28-09-2009, 16:05
what constantly walking into doorframes due to my huge girth?

ATZ
28-09-2009, 17:51
My degrees of strength tend to increase exponentially after approximately 8 beers. After ingesting this performance enhancing elixir I have been able to acheive the following:

- Break numerous doors
- Punch through a cupboard door
- Rip 2 concrete bins off the pavement
- Push a Nissan Micra onto an embankment
- Kick a garden wall over

and something I gained great acclaim for in university:

- fell a lampost.

I have considered lifting whislt drunk, I don't think a kebab would be bad PWO nutrition...

madcap
28-09-2009, 22:37
once at a bbq, we made a bonfire but ran out of stuff to burn, we found some old chairs but thought it was stupid to just put the chairs on the bonfire, so we decided to break it up. But we had no tools... so with my own swole hands, I broke every leg off then the back of the chair, to the cheer and delight of the croud, i could just see the girls getting wet before me.

http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v3860/16/89/284000656/n284000656_3489409_4561659.jpg

http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v3860/16/89/284000656/n284000656_3489411_6820082.jpg

ocaz
29-09-2009, 15:25
Earlier this year at a football match which was an away game at Huddersfirled watching Leeds United. At the end of the game as I climbed up the rows to get to the exit quicker I ripped one of their seats clean out. It was a complete accident but showed my incredible swoleness ;) what was funnier I thought oh shit it looks like I am a hooligan kicking off or something thinking I would get arrested and I just turned to a steward with the said plastic seat in my hand mouthing 'Sorry' and he just shrugged while laughing lol