I have poo on my elbows

[Magnus]

To those of you who have kindly stumbled across my very recent "Introductions" or "The Viking Sagas" threads, you'll be familiar with my weighted dips. As a result, compounded by my bench work, I've been left with what must be all too familiar aching elbows.

Last week my "Pro-Joint Topical Lotion" from CNP arrived via affordablesupplements. A word of warning:

This comes in a 90ml plastic tub, not too dissimilar to that which hair wax may come in, and after unscrewing the lid I was faced with the familiar sight of a second plastic seal/lid to flip off before use. While still in my mind, I was thinking this is like wax, I held the container at a pretty angle to thumbnail off the aforementioned lid number two…

… may I stress to readers who are new to this product, it is not like hair wax, nor it is pretty looking with funky colours of glimmering electric blue or smells like an angels fart should (sweet perfume… ahh ). NO! this is runny, convincingly poo coloured stagnant bum dribble (and I challenge those who think otherwise).

Need I remind you of the pretty angle I was currently holding this container at, while sat at the side of my bed? Within 2 seconds I had gone from a (pretty cool, I might add) clean individual calmly sitting on his bed ready to tend to his wounds, to a (very uncool) person who had done a very convincing impression of shitting his jeans and skidding on the side of his bed tending to an altogether different type of wound… pride.

I am pleased to say that I have covered up my indiscretions, and look forward to walking tall amongst the general population who don’t have reputations for having problems controlling their runny bottoms.

I would like to dedicate the rest of this journal to a more serious look at getting my elbows back to 100%:

I have previously used CNP’s joint formula in powdered form (sadly no longer available I think?) and after a month of daily supplements I was feeling like a million dollars again. I have also taken Glucosamine & Marine Condroitin tablets courtesy of Healthspan.co.uk but they were not as noticeably effective as the powdered joint formula.

I am currently on day two of rubbing poo on my elbows, no sign of improvement thus far…

PS apologies for my verbose entries, as I have killed most of my friends I get bored and need to natter

[GoldenArrow]

Err..zipvit.co.uk?

[Scourge]

That's some funny shit... (haha).

Maybe a stupid question, but have you tried just taking a break from training, see if that helps?

[Magnus]

Maybe a stupid question, but have you tried just taking a break from training, see if that helps?
I have fingers in my ears... "la la la la I can't hear you.."

Seriously though, it's not that bad yet, plus I'm pretty sure its from going up a weight. But rest assured I will (rest that is), if it gets too much. (I take every sixth week off anyway).

[Scourge]

Hokay...

I had terrible trouble with my elbows from benching a while back. Took a break from it for a while to see if that would help. Went away and never came back.

As you say, it could just be because you're using more weight, in which case you should adapt to it soon enough.

[Magnus]

As you say, it could just be because you're using more weight, in which case you should adapt to it soon enough.
I get the feeling that like muscles growing to adapt to the extra weight, so too do the tendons and ligaments, therefore some form of dietary/supplementary changes will be required (such as increased protein for muscles)? This poo cream is full of things like Glucosamine amongst other multi-syllabic substances, so fingers crossed and we'll see over the following couple of weeks (days hopefully) how I get on...

[Tricky]

interesting....defo keep us informed if it works

[Magnus]

Day three: after taking what apparently would equate to same volume of poo as found in Rob's mum's bum, I smeared a formidable quantity of the brown elixir upon my elbows before bed time. I allowed it to dry before assuming the semi foetal position whereby by gluteus (very) maximus appear to salute any who may venture into the Vikings layer.

I woke the next morning in the vain hope that my elbows were going to feel better. Instead I was presented with an image on my sheets that looked more like a bunch of orgy-ing cats had got a freak-on and began fisting each other: Paw sized poo prints… no good

Elbows do not feel any better...

[parp]

you talk a lot of poo Magnus....dis you buy it at Fritz's Cak Shop*???



*injoke

[Magnus]

No I bought it from a little place down a back alley caller Canal Street

[parp]

Man-Chest-er huh...

[Magnus]

Day four:
Put lotion on my elbows in the morning, ate breakfast topless which excited nobody but the neighbour's cat who began licking her.... anyway.

Thought lotion was dry and put on a work shirt went to client. Apart from the slightly unpleasant smell (which I'm hoping only I can detect), I arrived at the client's work place with brown stains on my shirt. Pretty girl on reception smiles at me (but I know it not genuine, I think to my self "shut it you sl*g" and console myself in the fact that no matter how pretty she is, there are still several tiers between her and me on the food chain - and I'm sitting pretty).

Elbow ache has gone slightly, but not sure if that's the lotion or because I haven't lifted since Saturday? Tomorrow going for +100kg weighted dip, bit excited, hope elbows are up to it.

[Rogue_zero]

go for it Magnus. Sis said hello back by the way

[Magnus]

Well 100kg didn't happen. But on the upside, elbows felt less achy than expected.

Now on day 6 things are looking promising:

I was concerned that heavy dips yesterday might have affected them. However in the past it's the dumbbell pressing which has affected me the most - strange as this has to be one of the free-est and natural movements around? Certainly better than the smith machine or even the free-weight bench. So I will continue with this until Saturday and update following that session.

As for the smell and mess, I'm finding it hard to recommend this product – it's a lot of hassle

[Magnus]

Relatively average day at the gym. But elbows felt bad still. I've decided that given the effort and trouble of putting this stinky shit on yourself, it's not worth the bother. I've gone for some good ol' Glucosamine sulphate and Marine Chondroitin from Zipvit.co.uk, when they arrive next week I'll be like the Fonz and it'll be Happy Days. Say good bye to the fisting cats.